Category: musings

  • I have no words

    It’s been a little bit since I’ve written. Every day that’s elapsed, I’ve intended to explain—make a video, a Telegram message, a blog post…and I’ve been frozen. I open my mouth and no words come. I sit before a blank screen to write and no words come. What is there to say that hasn’t been said yet?

    Marcellus Williams was murdered despite his innocence and the massive public outcry. Cries for justice fell on ears that heard and did it anyway. Israeli violence has continued to escalate – a school of orphaned children was bombed just yesterday. The region has only continued to experience expanding violence from Gaza, the West Bank, then Lebanon, Yemen, Iran – and on and on. My country knows the majority of Americans, and the majority of the entire world, have called Israel’s crimes for what it is – genocide – but the officials still deny it. It’s still being funded. Billions of dollars are being sent overseas to fund proxy wars, meanwhile, towns across Appalachia have been wiped out by flooding and are still in dire need of help.

    Workers in Tennessee died from flooding because their bosses told them if they left, they’d be fired. People say things online like, “Well they should have just left anyway a job isn’t worth your life.” While not technically wrong, it oversimplifies the situation. Most Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Healthcare is tied to employment. Inflation is the worst it’s ever been. Not having a job for a lot of people means losing such a significant quality of life that the stakes are completely different. I was just laid off from my job a couple of weeks ago. I get why the threat worked.

    The longshoremen strike is one I wholeheartedly support. I even thought, maybe this will delay weapons shipments, too. Those hopes were quickly dashed. Our economy is a military-industrial complex built by blood both here and abroad. Military shipments are going on as normal. Israel was sent another 8.7 billion dollars from this administration, while FEMA does not have enough funding to make it through the rest of the hurricane season.

    We all know by now the government will not save us. It’s up to us to help one another. But, even when we try to we are stopped. I’ve been thinking a lot about the civilian pilot, Jordan Seidhom, who the local fire chief threatened with arrest if he continued flying rescue missions in North Carolina. Seidhom isn’t a hobbyist – he has a law enforcement background and all the necessary credentials to fly. He was trying to save people who are being absolutely failed by our federal and state governments, and instead of being seen as the hero he is, he was threatened.

    So with a mind full of nonstop horrors both domestically and abroad, I have lost my words. The shame of having stopped only increases each day, but still, no words come. Writing this has taken days, and each word has been a fight. Is anyone even listening at this point? Have my efforts truly done anything?

    I know this matters and I won’t stop forever. I need to rethink how to move forward to best use my time, skills, and abilities to make an impact without completely deteriorating. Right now I feel raw and open – I’ve need this time to assess the world and myself. I intend on coming out with a new structure soon to share. I’ve moved my hosting to 1984, and it’s been a little bit to transfer my blog over correctly. As an aside, I chose 1984 for its strong stance on free speech. The ADL sued them to try to get the website mapliberation.org taken down. Per the website, the map project “illustrates some ways in which institutional support for the colonization of Palestine is structurally tied to policing and systemic white supremacy here where we live, and to US imperialist projects in other countries.” I have a lot of respect for 1984 hosting fighting this egregious, frivolous lawsuit.

    SOURCES

    The Innocence Project “Stop the Sept. 24 Execution of Marcellus Williams, an Innocent Man

    Newsweek “I’m a Black Man in Missouri—Marcellus Williams’ Execution Reveals a Hidden Truth

    The Voice “When innocence doesn’t matter: Marcellus Williams’ execution was a modern-day lynching

    Al Jazeera “Video: Israeli attack on Gaza school for orphans

    Al Jazeera “Why did Israel attack Lebanon’s biggest Palestinian refugee camp?

    Al Jazeera “Iran’s missile attack against Israel: What we know and what comes next

    Scientific American “Why Appalachia Flooded So Severely from Helene’s Remnants

    Washington Examiner “Appalachia: A ballad of the unseen

    USA Today “Heartbreak across 6 states: Here are some who lost lives in Hurricane Helene

    NBC News “Tennessee investigating plastics factory after workers trapped by Hurricane Helene floods died or went missing

    CNN “Massive port strike begins across America’s East Coast, threatening shortages and rising prices

    WUSA9 “Baltimore cruise ships and military cargo not affected by dock worker strike

    NBC6 South Florida “South Florida couple stranded by Helene in North Carolina rescued by chopper pilot

    New York Post “Helicopter pilot threatened with arrest after flying rescue missions in flood-ravaged NC

    Firehouse “Civilian Pilots Join Rescue, Relief Efforts in Storm-Ravaged Areas

    AP News “Mayorkas warns FEMA doesn’t have enough funding to last through hurricane season

    Reuters “Israel says it has secured $8.7 billion U.S. aid package

    Newsweek “Matt Gaetz Voted Against FEMA Funding Right Before Hurricane Helene Struck

    The Hill “Hurricane Helene renews calls for Congress to pass disaster funding

    The New Republic ““Let It Go to Voicemail”: Democrats Reportedly Ignoring Calls for Cease-Fire

    Middle East Eye “Israel-Palestine war: Interns, fellows on Capitol Hill say US Congress suppressing Gaza ceasefire calls

    The New Republic “Congressional Interns Accuse Bosses of Suppressing Calls for Cease-Fire

  • What I fear the most…

    If you’re reading this, chances are you already know, but if for some reason you don’t- there are multiple genocides happening the moment I am writing this and the moment you’re reading this. Top of my mind and the minds of most is Palestine, but the crises and genocides occurring in Sudan, the Congo, Tigray, against the Uyghurs in China are co-occuring. None of this is new, unfortunately, but a rising consciousness of the magnitude of human suffering perpetuated by and for the service of power and how it’s truly connected is new. It’s a fragile thing, and the tangled web at the heart of it lies our tax dollars, consumerism, individualism, and settler-colonial structures designed to make the most profit.

    I have been aware of some of this for some time now, but the horrors of what has happened and is happening to the Palestinian people has completely tore my heart and mind open. Unfortunately complacency is easy and too many of us have fallen prey to it time and time again. I’m afraid it will happen again.

    I remember when the Occupy Wallstreet movement hit its peak right when I started my undergraduate studies. The retrospective suggests a lack of cohesion, inconsistent demands, and an overwhelmingly white representation. It lacked intersectionality and ultimately failed.

    What I fear the most is that despite all best efforts, even with the intersectionality of this movement, we will fail due to the extreme measures our government has undertaken to silence those demanding a ceasefire.

    This will not stop me, nor will I let my fears discourage me. When I first became educated I made a promise. I think it’s best shown in a poem I wrote on October 16th entitled “Witness”. I shared it on TikTok & included videos of what was happening in Gaza at the time: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8xDbRp1/

    “Witness”

    10/16/23

    I saw on the news today

    Names, faces, stories

    From the Israelis who were murdered

    I saw the world grieve for them

    My own heart, too, feels it

    But I wonder who will remember the nameless Palestinians

    I look for you everywhere, Gaza

    I search across social media

    To look into your eyes

    And witness

    I see your babies dying

    Your mother screaming in the street

    Because her husband was just killed

    I see your goodbyes posted online

    As the supply of everything needed to sustain life runs out

    I hear your voice as you ask me, brokenly

    To not stop talking about you

    To remember you

    To witness

    I promise you I will not forget

    Your face will haunt me forever

    And I welcome it

  • Uhhh, this wasn’t on my 2023 bingo card

    haha what?

    me, right now, 11/25/23

    Am I the only one that feels like 2020 never really ended and we’re all stuck in a loop of the same struggles in different costumes for both our personal lives and goings-on in the world? 2023 in particular has been a lot of repeating lessons- maybe it’s the universe giving us more chances & hoping that we’ll all do better this time around. I’ve gotta assume if you’re still reading this, then you feel it too. Nice to be on the same page.

    Things not on my 2023 bingo card:

    • getting covid for the first time & needing to go to the ER due to fever & dangerous tachycardia
    • getting engaged
    • my fiancé breaking up with me through a text message
    • my old lady baby cat Clover dying in my arms due to a series of strokes from a hyperthyroid storm
    • my supervisor getting fired
    • ^that same person dying several days afterward in what felt like a suicide
    • completing my political, socio-cultral radicalization that started in 2020 with the BLM movement
    • becoming a dedicated social media activist on TikTok for the human rights of Palestinians

    I’m sure there are things I’m missing on that list…it’s been a crazy year. That last point, though, is whats pushed me to make this blog & website. The level of censorship on social media for anything related to Palestine has gone beyond what I’ve ever seen/experienced before.

    Before that happened, I was able to launch my Resistbot daily letter to Biden & Congress campaign for Palestine and get some traction. I’m one person. I have never participated in activism to the extent I do now. It was not on my 2023 bingo card for 18,432 people to sign my letters and for 6,489 people to follow my activism efforts.

    https://resist.bot/go/WATERMELON

    tell resistbot FOLLOW WATERMELON to get notified* for the daily letters to sign *(notifications not always working so join heywatermelon Telegram channel as well)

    It’s been a beautiful experience in the midst of such horror. It’s helped to restore my faith in my fellow Americans. The problem now is censorship- its more & more difficult to get TikTok to push my videos to the FYP, and Instagram clocked me fast and gives me maybe 2-3 views on my reels. I’ve never attempted organizing efforts like this before, and I worry now that trying to set this site up now is even too late. I refuse to be discouraged, however. This is a cause I will fight for until the day I die- I will never forget the genocide of Palestinians.

    Stay Connected

    https://t.me/heywatermelon

    Telegram Channel

    Chances are, if you’re reading this, you care about daily efforts to petition our government for Palestinian human rights. I recommend joining the heywatermelon Telegram channel to make 100% sure you’re getting notified when a daily letter drops. You can also use resistbot through Telegram so it makes it even easier to do.